Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lhazz11

Search for a member

lhazz11

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4082
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : A bisexual track star who likes to eat and draw

lhazz11's page activity

Visits<b>KitchenPig</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:37pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:05am<b>pizzas_awesome</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:18am<b>Kaimanalyles</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:09pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:35pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>50_shades_of_idc</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:25pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:31am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:25am<b>Drosophila82</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:04am<b>Obito_Rocks</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:57am<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:18pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:56pm<b>byattwain</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:32pm<b>amazing_race190</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:50am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:21am

lhazz11's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of lhazz11's badges

lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25964) - you deserved it (2312)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (4545)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (7747)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22338) - you deserved it (1426)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (6997)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (4405)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (4838)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30263) - you deserved it (1640)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (34904)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (8608)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44309) - you deserved it (5088)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: