Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lhazz11

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

lhazz11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2617
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : Snowboarder, soccer player, track runner, eater of all the things.

lhazz11's page activity

Visits<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:54pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 11:30am<b>nalalizzy</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 10:29pm<b>BeccaBoo2010</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Monster27</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:26pm<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 5:02pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:27pm<b>dEnVeRkUsH</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 10:55am<b>maigan332</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 10:17pm<b>Rosstapher</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:27am<b>badnelly123</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:22pm<b>sillym</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 5:52pm<b>ethan00</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:01am<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 12:06am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:07pm<b>tarv</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 8:47pm

lhazz11's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lhazz11's badges

lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (3513)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

#16878722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (3226)

On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (8937)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (8937)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36493) - you deserved it (3302)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (5803)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16462) - you deserved it (27819)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33667) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49892) - you deserved it (8081)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

#15139956
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (6472)

On 02/27/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12128) - you deserved it (41954)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41332) - you deserved it (3353)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

#14117268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (2356)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:08am - work - by jessefonsexy. (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: