Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lhazz11

Search for a member

lhazz11

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4679
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : A bisexual track star who likes to eat and draw

lhazz11's page activity

Visits<b>vtfan2319</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:43pm<b>DS0128</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:54pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:24pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:02pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:27am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:48pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 4:56pm<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:07am<b>KitchenPig</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:37pm<b>pizzas_awesome</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:18am<b>Kaimanalyles</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:09pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:35pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>50_shades_of_idc</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:25pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:31am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:21am

lhazz11's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of lhazz11's badges

lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38987) - you deserved it (9620)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38987) - you deserved it (9620)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40187) - you deserved it (3583)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (6190)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18408) - you deserved it (30584)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53631) - you deserved it (8442)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

#15139956
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32325) - you deserved it (6837)

On 02/27/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (5553)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13770) - you deserved it (45195)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44644) - you deserved it (3608)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

#14117268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:08am - work - by jessefonsexy. (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (6516)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63044) - you deserved it (11540)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: