Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lexxiii

Offline (the 08/21/2014 at 11:09am) | Search for a member

lexxiii

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5537
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About lexxiii : This site makes me happy because I like seeing other people in pain along with me. Always live life to the fullest, though. You never know when it will be gone.

I love kittens, science, and film all in that order.

lexxiii's page activity

Visits<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Hellraiser2083</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:22am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:14am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:50pm<b>thegoldenbird</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:50pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:10pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:31pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:46am<b>ordinarygamer</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:17am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:38am<b>BCguy3</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:55pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 6:16pm<b>twisted_riri</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:51pm<b>quiet_storm09</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:21pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:13pm<b>angeloshaheen</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 5:38pm

lexxiii's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lexxiii's badges

lexxiii's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (3227)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

#19775676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (2669)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

#19697677
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (2448)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (1719)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (7699)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47126) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

#19619815
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (2541)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:14pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (3512)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13132) - you deserved it (41287)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (2791)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

#19429984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29604) - you deserved it (8451)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2407)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

#19362512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10338) - you deserved it (17615)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (2065)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (1752)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: