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lexxiii

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lexxiii
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3251
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About lexxiii : This site makes me happy because I like seeing other people in pain along with me. Always live life to the fullest, though. You never know when it will be gone.

I love kittens, science, and film all in that order.

My boyfriend is pretty cool too.

lexxiii's last visitors

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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lexxiii's favorite FMLs

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (16517)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

#20500655
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2803)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (1504)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (3972)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (4224)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (1754)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

#20435361
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (1904)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (8161)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18722) - you deserved it (1027)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (4159)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (2442)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15120) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)



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