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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lexxiii

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lexxiii
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1791
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About lexxiii :

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lexxiii's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (2860) - you deserved it (804)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (5285) - you deserved it (898)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (5051) - you deserved it (1246)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (7529) - you deserved it (572)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

#18965724 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (7506) - you deserved it (547)

On 02/01/2012 at 12:06am - health - by kb - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

#18954545 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (5953) - you deserved it (512)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (5419) - you deserved it (860)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

#18785645 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (22944) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:06pm - money - by meggs2209 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (1459)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (11231) - you deserved it (1260)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (1483)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

#18044190 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (7005) - you deserved it (1761)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:34am - misc - by tom0441 - Reserved

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (1215)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

#17941546 (330)

I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/09/2011 at 7:13am - kids - by chocolateisyum - Australia (New South Wales)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (19427)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States