Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lexxiasaurus

Online | Search for a member

lexxiasaurus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1035
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lexxiasaurus : I like to bite (:
I need to laugh at least 20 times a day(:
I'm pretty sweet as long as you don't try to piss me off
Oh and I love penguins!!!(:

lexxiasaurus's page activity

Visits<b>Respect101</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Ruhruhruhrudy</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:02pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:36pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:44am<b>nyancait</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:21pm<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:50am<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:20pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bvbarmy4ever</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:16am<b>person5546</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 12:58am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:40pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 7:18pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 6:35pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:35pm<b>Windows_98</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:33pm<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:38pm

lexxiasaurus's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of lexxiasaurus's badges

lexxiasaurus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

#21243667
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1105) - you deserved it (709)

On 08/23/2014 at 8:28am - work - by in big trouble - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1376) - you deserved it (164)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7224) - you deserved it (604)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3665) - you deserved it (7659)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (1789)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (2883)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a random girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2113)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (1702)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46780) - you deserved it (18436)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (11654)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (3755)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39486) - you deserved it (3823)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (6054)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (3086)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36790) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: