lexxiasaurus

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Offline (the 09/05/2015 at 8:33pm)

lexxiasaurus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7217
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lexxiasaurus : I like to bite (:
I need to laugh at least 20 times a day(:
I'm pretty sweet as long as you don't try to piss me off
Oh and I love penguins!!!(:

lexxiasaurus's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:38pm<b>Windows_98</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:01am<b>Respect101</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Ruhruhruhrudy</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:02pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:36pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:44am<b>nyancait</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:21pm<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:50am<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:20pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bvbarmy4ever</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:16am<b>person5546</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 12:58am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 7:18pm<b>thehuntress309</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 6:35pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:35pm<b>jmccarley1</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:38pm

lexxiasaurus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of lexxiasaurus's badges

lexxiasaurus's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

by Anonymoose / 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

by lgt5628 / 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

by Nat / 09/13/2014 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

by uppiskalle / 09/12/2014 at 10:32am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 9:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

by Diachronic / 09/12/2014 at 4:05am / United States (Idaho) / Work