lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

395Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12340
  • Number of comments : 796
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 4 hours ago<b>OlRed</b> - yesterday at 11:03am<b>French_giirl</b> - yesterday at 3:27am<b>anarchymaniac</b> - yesterday at 11:21pm<b>Chris_1414</b> - yesterday at 10:16pm<b>sandman676</b> - yesterday at 10:15pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 7:10pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:21pm<b>dont4get2wipe</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:34am<b>thatannoyingdude</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 12:12am<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:20am<b>squiros</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 2:49pm<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 12:32pm<b>spinster5</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 3:30am<b>HighRevolver</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 6:42pm<b>pickle682</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 12:33pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 3:32am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 3:22am

Fucked!<b>anarchymaniac</b> - yesterday at 5:21am<b>Mons</b> - yesterday at 1:10am<b>thatannoyingdude</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 6:10am<b>Willman757</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 6:32pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:21pm<b>biscuit182</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 8:09pm<b>A07</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 3:49pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 1:47am<b>freedom111</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 6:15am<b>prinzess</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:32pm<b>werepyre007</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:22am<b>alanvazquez1</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:27am<b>kunal222</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:21am<b>ruler805</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 11:24pm<b>decoydualist</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:29pm<b>dtut</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 11:03am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 10:17am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 10:41am

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

by moosy0_o / 04/07/2013 at 3:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 10:40am / Latvia / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

by kvdfan / 08/27/2012 at 8:57am / United States / Love

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

by XYZee / 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 2:31am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

by majorlyturnedoff / 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm / United States / Intimacy