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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3767
  • Number of comments : 356
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

#19777133
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (1719)

On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (2399)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

#19733584
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (3785)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by cl3v3l4nd5t34m3r (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (15191)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10533) - you deserved it (40725)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (2216)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20961) - you deserved it (4679)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39658) - you deserved it (4216)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (2337) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30659) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (1649)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44357) - you deserved it (3212)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7243) - you deserved it (25147)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you deserved it (12395)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



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