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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

32Liked!

lexiieeex3lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4552
  • Number of comments : 369
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (2856)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (15186)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28769) - you deserved it (2894)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (10949)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (4017)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

#19777133
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (1810)

On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (2405)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

#19733584
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (3791)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by cl3v3l4nd5t34m3r (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (15202)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (40764)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (2220)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (4680)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (5954)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (4218)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (2391) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -



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