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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2681
  • Number of comments : 290
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (9273)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (28328)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (3826)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

#19180349
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (11478)

On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34087) - you deserved it (4984)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19635) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (4983)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (4627)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (4106)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (6860)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (2895)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

#19018819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm - misc - by Emily (woman) - United States



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