Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member
About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML
Friday 17 April 2015