lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

352Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11218
  • Number of comments : 750
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>firefighterbee</b> - 9 hours ago<b>OmgimBored</b> - 10 hours ago<b>theunluckyone96</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ADOG2645</b> - 18 hours ago<b>AirBusDriver</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Paris25</b> - 20 hours ago<b>robsmit98</b> - 20 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 20 hours ago<b>burgermike92</b> - 21 hours ago<b>HoboRain</b> - 22 hours ago<b>LyonDetreny</b> - yesterday at 8:16am<b>lolszilla</b> - yesterday at 2:24am<b>iNewKid</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:25pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:44pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:57am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:07am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:26pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:30am

Fucked!<b>AirBusDriver</b> - 14 hours ago<b>iNewKid</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 12:25am<b>morlogg</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 7:56pm<b>mjd13666</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 4:03pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 12:54pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:12am<b>fringeisawesome</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:00am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:20am<b>asiansapphire</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:47am<b>billboob</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 11:02pm<b>PaeshR</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 9:34am<b>born_hustla</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:11pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:11pm<b>kquals</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:29am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:51pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:42am<b>Steve97</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:48pm<b>aabhasj</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:48pm

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

by moosy0_o / 04/07/2013 at 3:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 10:40am / Latvia / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

by Nickki / 10/14/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

by kvdfan / 08/27/2012 at 8:57am / United States / Love

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

by XYZee / 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2012 at 2:31am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

by majorlyturnedoff / 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

by yoggabe / 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids