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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (2683)
On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2657)
On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (2483)
On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2671)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (7793)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22827) - you deserved it (2933)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (2520)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (2159)
On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30326) - you deserved it (2125)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by thedancer5 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (7598)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML
I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (23309)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by americanbln - United States
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (6347)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35248) - you deserved it (7731)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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