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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

318Fucked!

lexiieeex3lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10389
  • Number of comments : 721
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>MrErazo</b> - 2 hours ago<b>ohgoodlordjen</b> - 2 hours ago<b>johnnyxx4</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Noche007</b> - 11 hours ago<b>oobergoober89</b> - 13 hours ago<b>BalamCruz</b> - yesterday at 4:20pm<b>Cutlassocga98</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:11pm<b>mrchachie</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:46am<b>bengalaboy1</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:09am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 1:53pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:24pm<b>fml_Rambo</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:02pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:49pm<b>AcidBurn84</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:12pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:18am<b>Jaadde</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:48am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:17pm<b>Rais</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:37pm

Fucked!<b>oobergoober89</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Cutlassocga98</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Rais</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:37pm<b>Scorpio01</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:16am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:29pm<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:10am<b>int15</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:19pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:57pm<b>smartsamsam</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 8:11pm<b>1a2a3</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:34pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:37pm<b>jayd77</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:50am<b>DragonDude</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:35pm<b>hmiller2337</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:08pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:03pm<b>jewbobaggins</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 2:51am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:16am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:04pm

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49693) - you deserved it (9137)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41175) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54892) - you deserved it (5393)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54726) - you deserved it (4497)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49707) - you deserved it (4133)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (87335)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (8095)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52224) - you deserved it (8611) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70076) - you deserved it (7082)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61640) - you deserved it (7163)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55622) - you deserved it (4749)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52950) - you deserved it (3046)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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