Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lexiieeex3

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

lexiieeex3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2737
  • Number of comments : 297
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>DavidKnows</b> - 6 hours ago<b>stingray112</b> - 21 hours ago<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 3:40pm<b>Makifuun</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:40am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:01am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>schwaka</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:27pm<b>whoaitsrachel</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:05pm<b>dammityou</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:27pm<b>dudeguybruh</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Edumcg</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:54am<b>burro012</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:26am<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:52am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:02am<b>johnnyalaska</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:36pm<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:16pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:53pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:14pm

lexiieeex3's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (2339)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (4117)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32456) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (2781)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (1920)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (2892)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

#19836485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25105) - you deserved it (1559)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Melinie - United States

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (4096)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (8449)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (8449)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (4248)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (2848)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (15147)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (2886)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: