Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8620
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>vincentjules</b> - 24 hours ago<b>devsfunda</b> - yesterday at 2:29pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - yesterday at 1:11pm<b>BlueHorizons</b> - yesterday at 9:33am<b>hellnosucka</b> - yesterday at 7:47am<b>born_hustla</b> - yesterday at 6:25am<b>pks2014</b> - yesterday at 9:21pm<b>Nena_100</b> - yesterday at 9:03pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - yesterday at 6:16pm<b>Tricuspid</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 4:41pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:38pm<b>alberg18</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:25pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 11:16am<b>JDub1031</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:54am<b>843dude</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 8:40am<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:12pm<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:40am<b>Robert3Lee</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:31am

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - yesterday at 12:16am<b>twister45</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:37am<b>Aliadel</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:12am<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 10:58pm<b>lukian</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 10:25am<b>khorstmye</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Sangue0608</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:52pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 12:36pm<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:24pm<b>whatarethisss</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:22am<b>FunnyGuy4831</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 5:26am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 11:13pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:00pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:03am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:16pm<b>soccerislife2016</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:42am

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49109) - you deserved it (5634)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (50213) - you deserved it (7571)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49391) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46396) - you deserved it (4537)

On 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by SmittyJA24 - United States (Idaho)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML


Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41556) - you deserved it (6758)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55170) - you deserved it (7575)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (3656)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40927) - you deserved it (3347)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45383) - you deserved it (3793)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (5024)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54405) - you deserved it (4762)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41988) - you deserved it (7430)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: