lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

377Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11755
  • Number of comments : 777
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>nicolai44</b> - 2 hours ago<b>derplogic</b> - yesterday at 12:11pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 6:25pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 10:33pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:06pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:02pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:00pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:42am<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 10:58pm<b>Weasel14</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 2:52pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 12:39pm<b>SunshineBoy</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 11:51am<b>jtorgey84</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 7:54am<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 5:05am<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:44pm<b>IAmPotatoe</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:43pm<b>swharley</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 7:15am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 2:59am

Fucked!<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:44am<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 8:00pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:13am<b>jamieblue6</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:44pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:15pm<b>Iz15</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:59am<b>IAmPotatoe</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 9:47pm<b>prodigy57271</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 7:21am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 6:50am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 12:41pm<b>USMC10Rex12451</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 6:04am<b>sandman676</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 4:53am<b>Roostermann25</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:42pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:40pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:12pm<b>Tyrant166</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:08pm<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 8:46pm<b>6pointOhhh</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 4:09pm

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

by unashamed / 06/05/2014 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

by idiot says "you raised him" / 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

by wow / 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

by outsmartedbykids / 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

by thepixies842 / 05/19/2014 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.