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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7482
  • Number of comments : 469
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (7004)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (12078)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (40202)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38654) - you deserved it (4505)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39620) - you deserved it (11884)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML


I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (5402)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45704) - you deserved it (4981)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49180) - you deserved it (12581)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML


I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (16249)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (36676) - you deserved it (3794)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47513) - you deserved it (8845)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38061) - you deserved it (5532)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53073) - you deserved it (5267)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

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