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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14489) - you deserved it (8478)
On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15018) - you deserved it (1793)
On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (3509)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (3957)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada
Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (2989)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (5041)
On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (2017)
On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)
Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21342) - you deserved it (1434)
On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (1807)
On 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm - misc - by Emily (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (4289)
On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12634) - you deserved it (3130)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Monday 20 May 2013
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