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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7434
  • Number of comments : 459
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47704) - you deserved it (28548)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48582) - you deserved it (5592)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (47660) - you deserved it (7238)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47164) - you deserved it (4041)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (4318)

On 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by SmittyJA24 - United States (Idaho)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML


Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39732) - you deserved it (6531)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52081) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (3598)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39252) - you deserved it (3201)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (4721)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53728) - you deserved it (4711)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

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