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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13077
  • Number of comments : 825
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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Fucked!<b>marcelj121</b> - yesterday at 6:51pm<b>rashadkhanracing</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 10:34am<b>MindGames</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 3:54pm<b>Talented73</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:13am<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:36am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 10:40pm<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 5:49pm<b>DukeTyler</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 11:47pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 10:06pm<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 5:17am<b>vhsjulia</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 5:53am<b>CoolGuySoFly</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:28am<b>santoshbabu</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:52am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:32am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 1:35am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 11:44pm<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 3:32pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 5:53am

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

by Stellarum / 08/18/2014 at 11:13am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Kids

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

by cahsecuel / 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

by poorman / 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

by Fennec / 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm / Love

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love