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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (29327)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (2040)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (4359)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (3053)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (2058) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (1332)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41898) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (24010)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36622) - you deserved it (11381)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (2811)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (1886)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (8843)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (8843)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (27065)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia



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