About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Kids
Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Stellarum / 08/18/2014 at 11:13am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Kids
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
by cahsecuel / 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML
by poorman / 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka"… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to… Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd…