Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lexiieeex3

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

lexiieeex3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2739
  • Number of comments : 297
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

Visits<b>DavidKnows</b> - 12 hours ago<b>stingray112</b> - yesterday at 5:18pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:40pm<b>Makifuun</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 7:40am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:01am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>schwaka</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:27pm<b>whoaitsrachel</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:05pm<b>dammityou</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:27pm<b>dudeguybruh</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:03pm<b>Edumcg</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:54am<b>burro012</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:26am<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:52am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:02am<b>johnnyalaska</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:36pm<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:16pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:53pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:14pm

lexiieeex3's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50907) - you deserved it (7134)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44998) - you deserved it (8456)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

#21155045
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53238) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/28/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43393) - you deserved it (16181)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46392) - you deserved it (27772)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45869) - you deserved it (5301)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (7217)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46956) - you deserved it (4026)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

#21145745
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43819) - you deserved it (4306)

On 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by SmittyJA24 - United States (Idaho)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (6448)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51806) - you deserved it (7187)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42785) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: