About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
lexiieeex3's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
by Teach / 03/31/2015 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by bradix1186 / 02/21/2015 at 1:00pm / Philippines (North Cotabato) / Health
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
by assholedad / 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm / Canada / Kids
by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by crazy cat lady / 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Animals
by braceforcarnage / 12/02/2014 at 10:42am / United States / Love
by hellalegit / 11/07/2014 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Geek
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML
by JenniferMay / 10/14/2014 at 6:35am / United Kingdom / Work
- Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns,… Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time… Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send"…