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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5950
  • Number of comments : 385
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

#18108138
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (7646)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (4925)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (3620)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15198) - you deserved it (31428)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34056) - you deserved it (3760)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (10217)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you deserved it (4289)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (3926)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (3585)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44274) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

#17355077
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36617) - you deserved it (2969)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by thedancer5 - Canada (Ontario)



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