Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lexiieeex3

Search for a member

lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1412
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's last visitors

AspireworkskingofswedesJaimeFlores96DoritozillaincoherentrmblrxXTaigaXx

lexiieeex3's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54585) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML

#5876534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (2856)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72577) - you deserved it (5306)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45846) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37996) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (43891)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (1891)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60652) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107799) - you deserved it (8044)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML

#4346693
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (6295)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57481) - you deserved it (30025)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54457) - you deserved it (2746)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML

#3382382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54913) - you deserved it (1991)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by lawoman27 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: