Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member
About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
Friday 27 March 2015