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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1435
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's last visitors

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (3097)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (2161)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (4137)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54582) - you deserved it (2601)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML

#5876534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (2856)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72835) - you deserved it (5336)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45859) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7854) - you deserved it (43896)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (1891)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60661) - you deserved it (15381)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107824) - you deserved it (8044)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML

#4346693
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41643) - you deserved it (6295)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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