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About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
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Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
Friday 19 December 2014