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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3766
  • Number of comments : 356
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44075) - you deserved it (3320)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (11625)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (8020)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54307) - you deserved it (3890)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

#18108138
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (7518)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (4913)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25927) - you deserved it (4222)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (3614)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15143) - you deserved it (31342)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (3758)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (3757)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (10041)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31882) - you deserved it (4282)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (3920)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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