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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2690
  • Number of comments : 290
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (11595)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (8011)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54168) - you deserved it (3885)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

#18108138
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (7512)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (4899)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (4147)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, for the 5th day in a row, I had to keep my 7-year-old home from school and search his poop because he "forgot" he's not supposed to swallow things like, in this case, a screw that fell off his scooter. FML

#17735426
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (3612)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by OopsMonkey - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (3749)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25673) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32846) - you deserved it (3645)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (9931)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (4278)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28161) - you deserved it (3910)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)



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