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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3

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lexiieeex3lexiieeex3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5313
  • Number of comments : 376
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (7460)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (8717)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (3347)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

#21258796
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35555) - you deserved it (3345)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35375) - you deserved it (2934)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (4536)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (8715)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (9512)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (3830)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38431) - you deserved it (14853)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (3877)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36533) - you deserved it (6062)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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