About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
lexiieeex3's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML
by Alice / 08/30/2015 at 8:13am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by MoxleyCrue / 08/17/2015 at 3:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:22am / United States / Work
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by oh great / 08/09/2015 at 11:23am / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Money
Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML
by StargazeKitsune / 07/31/2015 at 1:36am / United States (Montana) / Work
by WhatTheFuck / 07/30/2015 at 11:30am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Andrew / 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by momoftheyearedition / 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by fat and broke / 06/28/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML
by shitty shit / 05/26/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML
by Pandistoteles / 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm / United States / Kids
Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…