About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
lexiieeex3's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs
by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy
by Anon Y. Mous / 10/02/2015 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML
by No Job / 09/30/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML
by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML
by Alice / 08/30/2015 at 8:13am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by MoxleyCrue / 08/17/2015 at 3:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:22am / United States / Work
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by oh great / 08/09/2015 at 11:23am / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Money
Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML
by StargazeKitsune / 07/31/2015 at 1:36am / United States (Montana) / Work
by WhatTheFuck / 07/30/2015 at 11:30am / United States (Illinois) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring… Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over… Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely…