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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10355
  • Number of comments : 720
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

lexiieeex3's page activity

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lexiieeex3's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lexiieeex3's badges

lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (10693)

On 08/09/2015 at 11:23am - money - by oh great - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1655)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (2592)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:59pm - kids - by Andrew - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (2214)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (4365)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (2212)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (3657)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2564)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (5796)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (2433)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:40am - kids - by Teach (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (10243)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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