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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4593
  • Number of comments : 369
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.

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lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/03/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by crazy cat lady - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (2633)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36435) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49170) - you deserved it (3474)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (12280)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (3054)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML


I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (2245)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32779) - you deserved it (2783)

On 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43272) - you deserved it (7359)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

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  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

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