About lexiieeex3 : My life is a fantastic joke. Enjoy as I rant about it.
lexiieeex3's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
lexiieeex3's favorite FMLs
Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML
by fuckel4 / 07/01/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by crybaby / 06/28/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML
by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work
by BenFiggy / 04/21/2016 at 9:28am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/05/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy
by Anon Y. Mous / 10/02/2015 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML
by No Job / 09/30/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML
by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible… Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching… Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page…