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lexie_danielle

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 5:21am) | Search for a member

lexie_danielle

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  • Number of visits : 218
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lexie_danielle's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 6:47pm

lexie_danielle's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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lexie_danielle's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (5255)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (12418)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54310) - you deserved it (4040)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41372) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (5509)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46543) - you deserved it (5255)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (4913)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43973) - you deserved it (4140)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49029) - you deserved it (2988)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64801) - you deserved it (6265)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (8254)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40620) - you deserved it (4733)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (2486)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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