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Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16437) - you deserved it (2256)
On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States
Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (1522)
On 09/11/2010 at 1:31am - health - by fuzzy1895 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (23221)
On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15486) - you deserved it (5695)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (3611)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (1584)
On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (3018)
On 02/04/2010 at 11:12am - love - by confused - Sent from mobile version
Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5875) - you deserved it (22782)
On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2026)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55756) - you deserved it (6610)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by lifesux17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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