About lexi365 : I am a student at the University of Notre Dame. I play 3 sports; soccer, tennis, and cheerleading :). I am a 3rd degree black belt in Kuk Sool Won and I also play guitar. I love making new friends so message me if you want.
lexi365's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lexi365's favorite FMLs
Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by sam / 12/15/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Work
by Username / 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money
by hotride / 12/15/2010 at 11:34am / Transportation
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
by Username / 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 7:24am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health
Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML
by tstaeger / 07/24/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…