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50 favourites
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71621) - you deserved it (3336)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (59383)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the sh*t out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (7580)
On 05/11/2009 at 8:38am - animals - by prevostsrocklike - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (38546)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63931) - you deserved it (4134)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108105) - you deserved it (7134)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (123557) - you deserved it (3842)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182951) - you deserved it (61946)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12113) - you deserved it (28313)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Biggest Jerk (man) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
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