lex999

Search for a member

lex999

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 February 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 435
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

lex999's page activity

Visits<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 9:35pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 6:18pm

lex999's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of lex999's badges

lex999's favorite FMLs

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

by Username / 11/23/2010 at 1:50am / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

by traumatized4life / 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

by llmd / 08/10/2010 at 12:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

by hard / 08/09/2010 at 3:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 1:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

by GuiltByTenuousAssociation / 03/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

by brokenhearted / 02/18/2010 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

by Proof-Reader / 12/15/2009 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Love