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lex1459

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lex1459

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2866
  • Number of comments : 198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

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Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:35am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:31am

lex1459's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (35748)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

#3205255
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (6393)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by smallmediumatlrg (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70168) - you deserved it (13115)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (94762)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52001) - you deserved it (3277)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55248) - you deserved it (8871)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (85064)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (198846) - you deserved it (31500)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

#214939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50120) - you deserved it (3898)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13793) - you deserved it (46410)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)



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