lex1459

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lex1459

441Fucked!

lex1459lex1459
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8236
  • Number of comments : 309
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About lex1459 : Gene Parmesan is the true master of disguise.

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>terryaly</b> - 8 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 10:09am<b>Jonfun</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:50am<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 9:14am<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 6:56pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 8:23pm<b>Wolfo06</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 12:11am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:52pm<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:55am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:39am<b>TheGamingNirvana</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 8:11am<b>james08</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 9:29pm<b>deathtojesus</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 7:58am<b>jerry08157</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:56pm<b>Pizzacheese4</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:36pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 8:32pm<b>AmyLN</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 6:16pm<b>conman317</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 5:21am

Fucked!<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 4:57am<b>tay_arredondo</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 9:47pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>jelrid</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 1:41am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:38pm<b>bigmusclebro</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:21pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:13pm<b>classicate</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 1:50pm<b>X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 1:06pm<b>19teej96</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:45pm<b>bigdick6969</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:58am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 5:10am<b>sexton78</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 1:38am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 12:40am<b>Scootythedog</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:13pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 4:03am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:36am<b>ssnow</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 12:13pm

lex1459's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

by Timv86 / 02/16/2010 at 3:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

by anonymous / 01/26/2010 at 7:55am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Health

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

by WesJaz / 01/08/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming / 01/03/2010 at 11:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

by Muffinhater / 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

by mannnnn2717 / 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

by PoorGramps / 12/09/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

by Lemonhead / 11/30/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

by pummy / 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy