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lex1459

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lex1459

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2629
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (3887)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (5578)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10082) - you deserved it (33755)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42349) - you deserved it (2610)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45578) - you deserved it (2967)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (2731)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (2942)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

#5848105
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40499) - you deserved it (2229)

On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

#5554431
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6135) - you deserved it (27542)

On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36175) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (38082)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

#4632889
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (64650)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (26206)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16658) - you deserved it (35438)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)



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