Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lex1459

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

lex1459

320Fucked!

lex1459lex1459
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5849
  • Number of comments : 270
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About lex1459 : Ain't no hollaback girl.

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>ncbeach22</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Laeffy</b> - yesterday at 7:59pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:24am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:35am<b>dumpless</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 4:16pm<b>yarani</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:08am<b>lifeofpie25</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:20am<b>rostoney</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:32pm<b>tay_arredondo</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:10pm<b>Myndiva</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:54pm<b>rainingnutella</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:37am<b>sweetpeas26</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:28pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:25pm<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:22pm<b>n3rdzgotskillz</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 3:26pm<b>fmlsams</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:51am<b>lurks</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:06am<b>keiNan</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:33am

Fucked!<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:15pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:34am<b>dannidoll93</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:35am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:56pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:18pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:03am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:24am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:25am<b>alexowens</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:51am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:37am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:40pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:11pm<b>koganti</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:48am<b>lifeofpie25</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:26pm<b>dcam13</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:16pm<b>ezrajab</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:52pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:49pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:11pm

lex1459's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (24348)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52708) - you deserved it (3878)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

#14114390
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (2347)

On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (7947)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (58935)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2860)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (5594)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27445) - you deserved it (35018)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (3998)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (6018)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11459) - you deserved it (36076)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (2679)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: