About lex1459 : Gene Parmesan is the true master of disguise.
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I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
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lex1459's favorite FMLs
Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ryanlogan / 08/31/2011 at 2:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
by kelsjenks / 07/27/2011 at 9:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML
by sandwichmaker / 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
by lionhead14 / 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Jims / 04/29/2011 at 10:00am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 3:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by GuardOtto / 07/22/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her… Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear… Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.…
- Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog…