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lex1459

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lex1459

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2451
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

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lex1459's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9237) - you deserved it (30561)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (1723)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35370) - you deserved it (18413)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (9428)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

#18399255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (29154)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)

Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML

#18394511
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (4519)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

#18364181
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:19am - health - by smellyhouse (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (3946)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7453) - you deserved it (58115)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11869) - you deserved it (56181)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (29127)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33597) - you deserved it (3286)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63959) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (3470)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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