Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lex1459

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

lex1459

110Liked!

lex1459lex1459
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4292
  • Number of comments : 241
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>golden_warrior</b> - 45 minutes ago<b>Supercracker95</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Marcelb</b> - 14 hours ago<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - 18 hours ago<b>dakatabg</b> - yesterday at 5:29am<b>S232Flash</b> - yesterday at 5:25am<b>Sethan01</b> - yesterday at 4:48am<b>paravoz</b> - yesterday at 2:13am<b>Holybatman</b> - yesterday at 1:33am<b>WipeHour</b> - yesterday at 1:07am<b>BaKuTay</b> - yesterday at 12:47am<b>najdof</b> - yesterday at 7:40pm<b>Treken</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:57pm<b>happndinmonterey</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:27pm<b>j_cat187</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:17pm<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:11pm

Liked!<b>dakatabg</b> - yesterday at 11:29am<b>BaKuTay</b> - yesterday at 6:47am<b>Treken</b> - yesterday at 11:33pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:25pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:48pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:11pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:17pm<b>JoeC1993</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 5:25pm<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:43pm<b>moliknz</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:00am<b>MiguelDavila</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:04pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 2:04pm<b>dawood_k</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:26am<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:51am<b>gregjohnson298</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:06am<b>Kyze_Ninja</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:52am

lex1459's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (9956)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9294) - you deserved it (30744)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML

#18884912
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30036) - you deserved it (1737)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Sadfaic (man) - United States

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (1940)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36871) - you deserved it (18952)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (9456)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

#18399255
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8820) - you deserved it (29330)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)

Today, it's my soon to be 12 year old daughter's birthday. On my break at work I texted her how much I loved her and happy birthday. She replied with, "K, when will you be home? Mom won't let me open presents until you're here." Good to know I'm loved. FML

#18394511
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (4667)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

#18364181
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25566) - you deserved it (2074)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:19am - health - by smellyhouse (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (3966)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (58437)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11978) - you deserved it (56450)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14511) - you deserved it (30435)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: