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lex1459

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

lex1459

287Fucked!

lex1459lex1459
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5405
  • Number of comments : 263
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>daddysgirl243</b> - 43 minutes ago<b>Caligatifraniqua</b> - yesterday at 6:58pm<b>Countryboy1996</b> - yesterday at 4:16am<b>Isak366</b> - yesterday at 2:15am<b>kawayi</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:10pm<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Esoomian</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:15pm<b>Averyniceperson</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:10pm<b>MelodySackett123</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:46pm<b>apollo436</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:15pm<b>TheGoya69</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>LilyCaul</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:39pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:25pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:00pm<b>Arsenal123</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:43am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:11am<b>Pat5519</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:47am

Fucked!<b>Isak366</b> - yesterday at 8:15am<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:49pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:00pm<b>terspal</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:45am<b>ddeveshh</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:42am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:41am<b>nomrana</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:34am<b>Eorlas</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:14pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:46am<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:31am<b>saidaswear</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:40am<b>donniesyx</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:22am<b>ianarnold</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:20pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:57pm<b>johnny17</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:19pm

lex1459's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (6028)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9787) - you deserved it (28045) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30749) - you deserved it (4599)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (4814)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (3023)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (6079)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (7643)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML

#19463259
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (3937)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:01pm - kids - by neverakid (man) - United States

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (2126)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML

#19326389
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (2227)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2419)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (9698)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (1915)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (4128)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia



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