About lex1459 : Gene Parmesan is the true master of disguise.
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lex1459's favorite FMLs
by ohgod. / 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by hahagirl / 09/12/2012 at 1:40am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by the bad artist / 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML
by Tyler / 09/03/2012 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…