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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5837
  • Number of comments : 270
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About lex1459 : Ain't no hollaback girl.

lex1459's page activity

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lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (6250)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9966) - you deserved it (28360) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (4816)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (3028)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (6214)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23912) - you deserved it (7760)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML


I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (3966)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:01pm - kids - by neverakid (man) - United States

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (2157)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (2368)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (9833)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1916)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

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