About lex1459 : Ain't no hollaback girl.
lex1459's FML badges
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
lex1459's favorite FMLs
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by hahagirl / 09/12/2012 at 1:40am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by the bad artist / 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML
by Tyler / 09/03/2012 at 5:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids
Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
by Anonymous / 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
by roomingwithevil / 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…