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lex1459

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lex1459
  • Town/Country : Alberta, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1674
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's last visitors

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lex1459's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70670) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27729) - you deserved it (22068)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (2131)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (12460)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (16785)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (1302)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (1326)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you deserved it (31027)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16425) - you deserved it (9293)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (2422)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23369) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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