levodkamartini

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Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 6:28pm)

levodkamartini

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About levodkamartini : Walking Dead, Dexter, RS, CoD

levodkamartini's page activity

Visits<b>isodontgetit</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:47am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:56pm<b>onlyme25</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:33pm<b>midnightm16</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Elendil</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 8:37pm<b>sayhey22</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:49am<b>sammyy2qt</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:43pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Jayy_Dash23</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:24am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:29pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:18am<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Donkness</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:45am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 3:50pm<b>maggiefox</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:26pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 7:28am<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 10:18pm

levodkamartini's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of levodkamartini's badges

levodkamartini's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

by 0stvn0 / 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

by fluke / 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family is going to the USA for Christmas after being lucky and getting their tickets re-booked. My ticket was canceled due to the snow, and will not be re-booked. Merry Christmas to me, myself and a bottle of wine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 4:27am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Transportation

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

by Stripperofthemall / 08/25/2009 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

by Chip / 04/21/2009 at 6:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML

by Oh dear... / 02/20/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

by ... / 11/27/2008 at 12:30am / Holidays

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

by Jigll / 10/13/2008 at 4:26am / Health