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leparoxysmic

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leparoxysmic

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  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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leparoxysmic's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm

leparoxysmic's FML badges

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leparoxysmic's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

#18102267
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22484) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (11349)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (11601)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (4710)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (7438)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57891)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50296) - you deserved it (7815)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44567) - you deserved it (4602)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (10472)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46438) - you deserved it (11906)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55537) - you deserved it (4263)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119540) - you deserved it (73991)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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