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leochristensen

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leochristensen

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 80
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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leochristensen's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (3253)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8292) - you deserved it (29361)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (24007)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49849) - you deserved it (5268)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33316) - you deserved it (6703)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

#15021227
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (7053)

On 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm - misc - by justmyluck? -

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (4176)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants and while chasing after her yells "baby she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

#9695428
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65944) - you deserved it (6626)

On 04/07/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63121) - you deserved it (5109)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82210) - you deserved it (218399)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118363) - you deserved it (6579)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)



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