About leo1106 : Cloud Network Engineer. Calm, laid back. Love boxing, hockey, technology and animals.
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leo1106's favorite FMLs
Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no-one. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I sat at work for 8 hours daydreaming about the homemade 4 cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending 3 hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML
by HolyRavioli / 03/21/2016 at 1:37pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML
by Anonameow / 02/25/2016 at 7:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids
by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML
by anonymous / 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML
by unimpressed bride / 11/22/2015 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by strawberry / 11/17/2015 at 12:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I started to tell my step-dad about a funny video I came across online last night. He cut me off by saying "Yeah? Well I came across your mom's face last night!" then left for work with a shit-eating grin on his face. I could've gone the rest of my life without knowing that. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 6:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML
by eyegouger15 / 11/13/2015 at 11:32am / United States / Miscellaneous