About leo1106 : Hardworking and laid back. Love paint balling, boxing, basketball, and anything that has to do with technology and electronics. Networking/engineering major.
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leo1106's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
by Never Again / 08/09/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
by what sex life? / 08/02/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
by LacrosseFAIL / 07/16/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put some leggings on and I was feeling pretty good about how well they fit since I've been trying to slim down. Then I noticed the tag. Not only are they a size larger than I usually wear, but I also stretched them so badly that "Spandex" is now two words. FML
by AnotherLilyBart / 07/15/2016 at 4:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes. So I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes. But at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML
by SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda / 07/01/2016 at 10:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend told me she's been in love with me for over 4 years. I'm getting married to the man of my dreams in a month and she's supposed to be my bridesmaid. "Awkward" doesn't even begin to describe our friendship right now. FML
by Mimo / 06/23/2016 at 6:18am / Egypt / Love
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work
by MercyRoseLiddell / 05/27/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no-one. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside…