About leo1106 : Cloud Network Engineer. Calm, laid back. Love boxing, hockey, technology and animals.
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leo1106's favorite FMLs
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
by awkward / 09/26/2016 at 5:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I received my uniform for culinary school. I'm 5'4" and 110 lbs, and during sizing even an XS uniform swam on me. On the other hand, I need huge shoes for my size 10 feet. Apparently, the school decided to ignore my sizing sheet and simply give me standard medium uniforms and size 8 shoes. FML
by SorryIDontMatchStandardSizes / 09/02/2016 at 12:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
by Never Again / 08/09/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
by what sex life? / 08/02/2016 at 2:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML
by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health
by LacrosseFAIL / 07/16/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put some leggings on and I was feeling pretty good about how well they fit since I've been trying to slim down. Then I noticed the tag. Not only are they a size larger than I usually wear, but I also stretched them so badly that "Spandex" is now two words. FML
by AnotherLilyBart / 07/15/2016 at 4:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes. So I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes. But at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML
by SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda / 07/01/2016 at 10:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend told me she's been in love with me for over 4 years. I'm getting married to the man of my dreams in a month and she's supposed to be my bridesmaid. "Awkward" doesn't even begin to describe our friendship right now. FML
by Mimo / 06/23/2016 at 6:18am / Egypt / Love
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work
by MercyRoseLiddell / 05/27/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…