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lenor's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
by OmniVore / 02/25/2010 at 4:42am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML
by loling / 02/25/2010 at 4:37am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Love
by DLS / 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
by tattooooooface / 01/28/2010 at 8:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 01/27/2010 at 3:35am / Transportation
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Lost / 01/14/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML
by Username / 01/11/2010 at 11:03pm / Transportation
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/22/2009 at 5:13pm / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
by missmycomp / 11/12/2009 at 9:36am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML
by Danners88 / 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm / Australia / Miscellaneous