About lenamartinovic : My dog ate my homework.
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lenamartinovic's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML
by Lavalise / 11/05/2011 at 3:11am / France / Transportation
by top dog! / 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
by ThisGuy775 / 09/19/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
by slavelaborsux / 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Work
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which… Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense,… Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me.…