About lenamartinovic : My dog ate my homework.
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lenamartinovic's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
by With_Love929 / 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy
by nickw177 / 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML
by Stevski / 09/11/2012 at 11:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
by hooligyn123 / 09/04/2012 at 4:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 2:18am / United States / Transportation
by youmothERFUCKErs / 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
by fmyarse / 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me,… Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from… Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately,…