Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lenamartinovic

Search for a member

lenamartinovic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2234
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lenamartinovic : My dog ate my homework.

lenamartinovic's page activity

Visits<b>infected150</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:21pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:20am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Erqoza</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 8:50pm<b>justin1205</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:42pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:02pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:49pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:44am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:33am<b>cnewton84</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:53pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:53am<b>hereicomment</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:23am<b>chamely</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:43pm<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:50pm<b>xoxocochrach96</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:28pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:53am<b>CharviG</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:33am<b>mat_sib</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:47pm

lenamartinovic's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lenamartinovic's badges

lenamartinovic's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46418) - you deserved it (7933)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (8785)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (42021)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9070) - you deserved it (41246)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10176) - you deserved it (34523)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50117) - you deserved it (4725)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (5089)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36788) - you deserved it (22631)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (3662)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (12850)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (7851)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (32294)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (42872)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: