About lej24197 : i speak chinese, japenese, hungarian, romanain, *clap* and peqout native american. i play profesional skeet, and was in the beijing olypmics, i play it as an undergroud sport. illegally. my dogs name is my vagina smells like fish. my vagina smells fish, really, well it would be if i had one, but it dried up and shrivelled out about 120 years ago, ive saved it until now. im eating it as i type. my name is enea frehjbannanarejktjkgpoop. i am the prince or princess of egypt my parents are mummified. my next birthday is the day the world will explode, 2012. i current hunt and kill gays, and work at ceci's endless pizza pasta salad buffet, on the side, so i can pay for the money to support my gay hunt, i know im really helping the community by doing this. I want to be a singer or an actress, and i realllllly like getting wet. foshizzles
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (30977)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (19891)
On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (4633)
On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42626) - you deserved it (4531)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45740) - you deserved it (7311)
On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (6628)
On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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