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leilaadu

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 12:28am) | Search for a member

leilaadu

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leilaadu's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (5679)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50518) - you deserved it (4900)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (36154)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (3247)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47866) - you deserved it (5555)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54779) - you deserved it (6340)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80180) - you deserved it (24600)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (2380)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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