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legend219

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legend219

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  • Number of visits : 330
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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legend219's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:27pm<b>apriltwentieth</b> - the 12/03/2010 at 8:13am

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

legend219's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

#19998464
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (18825)

On 08/02/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by purplexangel (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (4117)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33108) - you deserved it (4785)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30361) - you deserved it (11348)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28069) - you deserved it (4239)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131524) - you deserved it (7340)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73688) - you deserved it (7679)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20856) - you deserved it (64580)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20856) - you deserved it (64580)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

#16263681
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (15037)

On 05/20/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by skiittlez713 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

#16015656
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10790) - you deserved it (51039)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (48654)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (11209)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (3365)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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