Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

legalizenow

Search for a member

legalizenow

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 562
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About legalizenow : Interior designer.

legalizenow's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:34am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:17pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 1:07am<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:11pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 11:58am<b>tartar18</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:10pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:52am<b>ghogghh1234</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 3:41am<b>xoxoEvelyn</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:06pm<b>coried91</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:42am<b>ThatNutellaTho</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:33am<b>vegasked</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:10pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:25am<b>sleepRX</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 9:15am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:48pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:14pm

legalizenow's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of legalizenow's badges

legalizenow's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50513) - you deserved it (7442)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54358) - you deserved it (4843)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (21842)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (40384)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54570) - you deserved it (6719)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55780) - you deserved it (6186) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47092) - you deserved it (4012)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48388) - you deserved it (7544)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (51743)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49414) - you deserved it (9297)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58490) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51538) - you deserved it (5898)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45039) - you deserved it (7972)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: