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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ledzeprules

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ledzeprules
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  • Number of visits : 734
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (84875) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (8176) - you deserved it (83303)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML

#1097922 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (86637)

On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

#1068348 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (113544) - you deserved it (4810)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (57984) - you deserved it (11871)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (53386)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (11960) - you deserved it (55929)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (735)

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (210195)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (12140) - you deserved it (67765)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. TWICE. FML

#859604 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (54968) - you deserved it (134474)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228739) - you deserved it (19505)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

#814481 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (56855)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friends apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (13041) - you deserved it (78508)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (6731) - you deserved it (46947)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (691)

I agree, your life sucks (342756) - you deserved it (22949)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)