Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About lebronesque73091 : Hi there, the names Peter
This is a pain on the ass to edit, so if this works, I won't mess with it anymore.
Alright.. 21 years old, brown hair, blue eyes, about 5'11, currently in school going to USF.
Basketball, Miami Heat, Football, Florida State, Golf, Pool, Driving, Laughing, Sleeping, Rain, The color blue
Favorite athletes:LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady, Terrell Suggs, RG3, Andrew Luck
Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Kanye West, Neon Trees, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkin Park, Of Monsters and Men, Weezer, AWOLNATION, Beastie Boys, Taylor Swift (I'll admit it)
Well, that's about it. I would say message me, but I use my iPod so..Bye now:)
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML
Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
Friday 3 July 2015