Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About lebronesque73091 : Hi there, the names Peter
This is a pain on the ass to edit, so if this works, I won't mess with it anymore.
Alright.. 21 years old, brown hair, blue eyes, about 5'11, currently in school going to USF.
Basketball, Miami Heat, Football, Florida State, Golf, Pool, Driving, Laughing, Sleeping, Rain, The color blue
Favorite athletes:LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady, Terrell Suggs, RG3, Andrew Luck
Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Kanye West, Neon Trees, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkin Park, Of Monsters and Men, Weezer, AWOLNATION, Beastie Boys, Taylor Swift (I'll admit it)
Well, that's about it. I would say message me, but I use my iPod so..Bye now:)
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML
Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014