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About lebronesque73091 : Hi there, the names Peter
This is a pain on the ass to edit, so if this works, I won't mess with it anymore.
Alright.. 21 years old, brown hair, blue eyes, about 5'11, currently in school going to USF.
Basketball, Miami Heat, Football, Florida State, Golf, Pool, Driving, Laughing, Sleeping, Rain, The color blue
Favorite athletes:LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady, Terrell Suggs, RG3, Andrew Luck
Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Kanye West, Neon Trees, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkin Park, Of Monsters and Men, Weezer, AWOLNATION, Beastie Boys, Taylor Swift (I'll admit it)
Well, that's about it. I would say message me, but I use my iPod so..Bye now:)
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML
Today, I found out that classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangementhere people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis . A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn . fat FML
Today, I found out that mah daughter has been stuffing mah push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home !! She's 9 !! The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services !! FML
Yesterday, at work as a gynecologist, I calld in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticd that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today... I refused to go down on mah boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and... half crying... yelled that I was the thrd grl this week to turn him down. After sobbing 4 a bit... he looked me in the eyes and said... ( I need u to do this so I can prove mah manhood. ) FML
Today... I was very worrid about my girlfriend of two yeres. She has recently movd into her apartment... and I hadn't hered from her 4 four days. Don't worry... though... she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook... she movd in with her old boyfriend. FML
Today, I Was Discussing Possible Career Choices With Mah Relatives. Pretty Much Everyone Expressed The Belief That I'm Screwed For Life, With Mah Grandma Commenting Later: ( She Ain't Even Got The Tits For Porn. God Help Her. ) FML
Today , I Took Mah Grlfriend To Eat Out At A Restaurant!! We Chatted Fir An Hour , And It All Seemed To Be Going Well , Until She Told Me That She Wanted To Break Up!! Waiting Fir The Bill And Driving Her Home Was The Most Painful Time Of Mah Life!! Fat FML
MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML
Today, as a laarnar drivar, I ambarkad on mah longast driva avar: back homa, from Sydnay to Malbourna,hich is around a 700km driva. I managad to gat thahola way without any problams. I crashad into mah drivaway. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML
I Picked My 12-year-old Daughter Up From School After Her Frst Sexual Education Lecture. She Burst Into Tears On The Way Home Explaining Her Fears Of Being Pregnant With Her Boyfriend's Child. As If That Doesn't Sound Bad Enough, I've Met Her Boyfriend Before. He Is Imaginary. FML
Friday 27 March 2015