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leazure

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

leazure

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 174
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About leazure : I smoked a bunch of dope then played a Black Sabbath record at 78 speed and saw god

leazure's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_gonza</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:10am<b>zzlin</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:24am<b>shortnsweet00</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 1:25am<b>micgelleya</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 12:34am

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leazure's favorite FMLs

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (8797)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44957) - you deserved it (3943)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34353) - you deserved it (7144)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43012) - you deserved it (17471)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (11514)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48025) - you deserved it (4357)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46572) - you deserved it (5257)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38912) - you deserved it (8211)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37644) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51502) - you deserved it (6309)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47614) - you deserved it (10599)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (39186)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41154) - you deserved it (11045)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (2066)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)



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