Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

leahb99

Offline (the 12/11/2015 at 11:27pm) | Search for a member

leahb99

106Fucked!

leahb99leahb99
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 May 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1407
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About leahb99 : music ho
piano//uke//vocals
songwriter
gay
avid sleeper
lowkey artist
infp, taurus, 16
I actually wear glasses nearly 24/7 so it's funny how in 2/3 of my pictures I don't have glasses on

leahb99's page activity

Visits<b>Riveria</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:59pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:02pm<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:35am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:30pm<b>Wheelman2178</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:23pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:55pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:13pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:33am<b>Mooish</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:10am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:15am<b>Tf2_Gr33n_Scout</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 12:51am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:10pm<b>orios105</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:35pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:32pm<b>shadesofcool</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 4:00am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:50pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:57am

Fucked!<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:30am<b>orios105</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:28am<b>nataliebee</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:40am<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 12:28am<b>bassfisher100</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:12pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:34am<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 5:14am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:12am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:44pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:54pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:20am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:30pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:29am<b>pizzzzza</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:07am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:20pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:28pm<b>JPjenny</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:59am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:53pm

leahb99's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of leahb99's badges

leahb99's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51431) - you deserved it (14658)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (29812)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55540) - you deserved it (7207)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38675) - you deserved it (12906)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48150) - you deserved it (7670)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (9801)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54439) - you deserved it (9070)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54745) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50275) - you deserved it (5415)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: