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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (2274)
On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (3105)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (8820)
On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (8033)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (4012)
On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (4023)
On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (3922)
On 06/03/2010 at 12:47am - love - by sincerely - United States (California)
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (3044)
On 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm - animals - by buttpicker - United States
Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (7191)
On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (3960)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8882) - you deserved it (22500)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, since we hadn't be romantic for a while, I shaved, bathed, cut my hair and snuggled naked up to my husband in bed. He got up went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (2852)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (2489)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you deserved it (1581)
On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46942) - you deserved it (2709)
On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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