About lb0812 : More lemon pledge
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lb0812's favorite FMLs
Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML
by Silverfeathery / 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML
by Dramori / 11/27/2014 at 11:30am / Health
by not crazy enough / 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by youonlyneed2squares / 09/24/2014 at 12:10am / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work
Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by apparentlybutch / 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 6:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 12:15am / United States / Work
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
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