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Why am I up so early?
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Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (1686)
On 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9951) - you deserved it (20304)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (3247)
On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (2066)
On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (1488)
On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (2959)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3069) - you deserved it (48296)
On 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Klepto (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (5185)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12234) - you deserved it (45925)
On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7128) - you deserved it (24303)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7128) - you deserved it (24303)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36489) - you deserved it (2867)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm - love - by me (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50348) - you deserved it (5371)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (354642)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (34368)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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