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laynepuls

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laynepuls

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  • Number of visits : 441
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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laynepuls's page activity

Visits<b>CountRyan</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 7:04pm<b>Serythvalker</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 4:11am

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laynepuls's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (36386)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11884) - you deserved it (28001)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26760) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36614) - you deserved it (5368)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (3379)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (7449)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (2801)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24371) - you deserved it (1416)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (3105)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (2630)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9623) - you deserved it (51806)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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