laxbro518

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Offline (the 03/21/2016 at 8:23pm)

laxbro518

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 650
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About laxbro518 : I play Lacrosse and Snowboard.

laxbro518's page activity

Visits<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 10:40pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Ancient_Mirage</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:55am<b>TatiLoves</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:58am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:39pm<b>varutha</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:36am<b>Faith13</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:56am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 7:54am

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:25am

laxbro518's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of laxbro518's badges

laxbro518's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died. But I thought for a few seconds the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML

by xxx / 10/03/2015 at 9:38am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

by lovedoesnotexist / 09/24/2015 at 7:52am / Belgium / Love

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

by hatemydentist / 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2014 at 3:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

by see you next cunt / 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm / United States / Health

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

by Tomb Raider Wannabe / 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous